A Slight Misunderstanding
by daisyscrapper
Summary: Keller and Lorne are stuck in a temporary quarantine after a mishap on a mission. Ronon/Rodney/Sheppard observe as the pair work out an argument. One-shot. Keller/Lorne pre-ship. Fluff.


_This came into my head as I was writing my other Jennifer/Lorne story that should be up within the month. Hope you enjoy! It's not beta'd or looked at by anyone, so I'm sorry for any mistakes I missed while proofreading! No timeline... the whole Rodney and Ronon thing never happened in my mind in this story.  
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"Colonel Sheppard," McKay spoke through his ear piece. "Report to the observation deck of quarantine room 1. Immediately."

McKay ended the transmission, waiting for John to respond.

"What's going on, McKay?" Sheppard radioed back.

He was trying hard to contain the laughter that wanted to come out. Desperately. McKay knew the situation was not entirely laughable. They still didn't know if Dr. Keller or Major Lorne were infected with anything. But the sight before him was one to behold.

"Sheppard, it'll easier if you just came down. Trust me," McKay's last words held unmistakable laughter.

John sounded annoyed. "McKay, this better be good."

"Oh, I doubt I'll let you down with this," McKay responded.

It took Sheppard only minutes to make his way to the observation desk of the quarantined room that held a very irate Keller and Lorne.

"McKay," Jennifer hissed, looking at him through the two-way thick glass window. "Let me out. Now. Or I swear I'll find every lemon, orange, or anything else that will make you break out in hives so bad, your mother won't recognize you."

Rodney her through the glass. "Keller, you know I can't let either one of you out until the tests from the lab come back negative."

Lorne nudged Jennifer aside. "Rodney, you and I both know there's nothing that will come back remotely dangerous enough to quarantine us. Dr. Graceful over here is unlucky but not that much of a train wreck."

At that point, Sheppard arrived and stood next to Rodney. Not much surprised the man anymore, especially after they had been in Pegasus for the last few years. But seeing his SIC, as well as their usually dignified CMO, going at each others throats, his jaw dropped.

"Rodney? What the heck is going on down there?" John asked.

McKay just shook his head. "They've been like this since they fell in the lake."

"Fell in the lake? What happened?" John asked. "I've been in meetings with Woolsey."

Sitting down, Rodney rubbed his forehead. "From what Lorne's team managed to tell me, Keller was ticked that the major was rushing her through her patients. She had that clinic off-world today. Lorne had a bad feeling about the neighboring village, so he tried to get her back earlier and sent his team ahead to secure the gate. Well, on the way back, she slipped and fell into this lake. When he pulled her out, they were both covered in green film. They've been ready to kill each other since."

John studied the pair below him. Lorne, who never lost his temper, was red-faced and looking ready to explode. Keller, who was the poster-child of calmness and always in control, was definitely ready to attack his SIC.

"Did anyone think to check if it's just regular algae?" John asked.

Ronon, who had been standing in the corner of the room watching with an amused expression, gestured to Sheppard. "I did. But not until we put them into quarantine. I've seen this stuff before. It's harmless."

John just sighed. "So tell me why they are still both locked up in there?"

Ronon smirked. "Because I left that information out when McKay ordered the quarantine. They need to resolve a few issues. Take a listen."

"Train wreck?" she screeched after listening to Lorne's remarks. "For your information, Major, I wouldn't have fallen if _SOMEONE_ wasn't in so big of a rush to get back. I had to practically beg you to let me finish with my last patient."

Lorne advanced on her, seething. "We were about to miss our check in point. Do you know what happens when any team assigned to you is late checking in?" He waited for her to answer, but was only greeted to her firmly crossing her arms and waiting for him to go on. "And all points bulletin is spread through Atlantis. Teams are assembled. A massive amount of weapons are put together, search team tactics are put in place... all to protect one high maintenance doctor who can't stay out of trouble for more than a few hours off world before she's kidnapped or gunned down!"

At that point, Jennifer lost it. Even more than she had lost it on him minutes ago. She threw down her bag that she had been holding and looked ready to spring on him. "You are the single most idiotic brainless male I've _ever _encountered in this city."

"Lorne's not armed, right?" Sheppard asked McKay.

Rodney looked surprised. "No. Ronon disarmed him the minute we put them in there."

"What about Keller?" Ronon rumbled, not hiding his laughter. When they looked at him like he was crazy, he lifted an eyebrow. "Have you seen the size of the scalpels she uses? Let alone the collection of needles she carries on her? I've never seen the Doc this ticked."

"She clean," Rodney said, reddening when they looked at him. "What? Standard protocol calls for each person suspected of having foreign and dangerous material on them to be completely disarmed. While Ronon was searching the major, I had to search her as well."

It was John's turn to chuckle. "No wonder she's so ticked at you, McKay."

They watched as Lorne advanced on her again, continuing their argument.

"Brainless?" He said with his teeth clenched. "Tell me, Doctor. How many times has my team, separate from Sheppard's, saved you in the past six months? Because I count five times."

Jennifer huffed. "You're counting? Wow, Lorne. I can't imagine when you have time to keep track of rescuing me with all the time you've been pursuing Elaine Hansen."

That stopped him. "What? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, don't get evasive with me, Evan. I may be stuck in the infirmary all hours of the day, but we do hear the gossip come through our doors," she yelled back. "Rumor has it that you've been seen multiple times with her in the last week."

Lorne rolled his eyes. "That's what this is all about? You're jealous?" He began laughing.

The laughter only escalated Jennifer anger. She pushed his chest away from her, sending him flying into the table nearby. "Jealous? _Jealous_? I am NOT jealous, you jerk. Just because we went on one almost date-"

"Date?" Lorne said, straightening up from his fall. "That night we had dinner together, only to have it cut short when SGA-2 came in injured? That wasn't a date, Doc."

Jennifer looked up at him, crestfallen. Her eyes welled up and she turned from him quickly... but not before he saw the tears.

"Aw, Jen," Lorne said softly. "Don't cry."

Watching from the room above them, Sheppard and Ronon both stood up. Ronon grabbed his gun, ready to go do damage to Lorne. Sheppard, although he looked concerned, appeared more ill at ease with the situation than angry. He wasn't used to tears. Seeing Ronon's blood pressure rise, he called over to him. "Ronon, stand down. You're not going in there and shooting my SIC."

Ronon glared at him. "He made her cry."

Sheppard looked uneasy. "I know. Let's let them work this out."

The big man didn't look appeased. Looking back at Sheppard, he didn't let go of his gun. "He has five minutes to make it better. Then," Ronon clenched his teeth, "I go shoot him."

A sergeant came in and handed John a document. "Looks like it's just algae. The report came back clear."

John ordered Rodney to unlock the doors to the room below. Meanwhile, Lorne walked over to Jennifer.

"God, you're stubborn," Lorne murmured, wiping her cheeks dry with his hands. Jennifer tried to jerk free from his touch, but he stood his ground. "What I meant was that I didn't consider that night a date because it wasn't special enough. I want our first date not to be in the same mess hall we eat in day after day and not 20 minutes long because you're called to a medical emergency."

She sniffled, not making eye contact with him yet. "But what about her? If you're still interested in me, why are you with her all of the time?"

"Hansen?" Lorne chuckled. "Because she's been helping me pick a planet for our first date. She's been looking at the environment reports for a place with nice climate, flowers, maybe a river. And she's dating one of the line chefs in the kitchen. Thanks to her, I had lined up a picnic basket lunch for us."

The three men observing the conversation began to feel uncomfortable.

"Yeah," McKay said, standing. "How about we give them some privacy? It looks like they're working things out."

"Good call," Sheppard said, anxious to leave the area. Too many emotions were going around. "Come on, Ronon."

"I'll catch up," Ronon said. "I need to do something first."

Sheppard and McKay waved at him, making their way out of the room. Ronon continued to glare down at Lorne.

Evan, despite the fact that they were covered in slimy water from the lake, wrapped his arms around Jennifer. "I'm sorry, Jen," he said as he brushed the soggy hair from her face. "I messed up. Between being secretive about my grand plan to make a great first date to getting mad at you this afternoon for not hurrying. I honestly thought you were in danger and should've made that more clear. We could have always came back to finish up your patients. I just worry about you going off world with... uh... some of the things that have happened lately."

Jennifer finally gave in and offered up a small smile. "You can say it, Evan. I have the worst luck off-world. And I'm sorry, too. I _was _jealous."

For the first time, they noticed they no longer had an audience. "Where did everyone go? Sheppard?" He called over the radio. "What's going on?"

John responded immediately. "You guys are clear to go. We didn't want to interrupt. Doors are unlocked. Post-mission debriefing can wait until later tonight."

Lorne carefully guided her around the table and toward the door. "Looks like we've been sprung. How about we both grab a shower and meet back in the mess hall? Our first date can be a picnic on the south pier. Not as fancy or elaborate as I hoped, but I figure it's better than postponing any longer and getting us into another fight."

She looked up and smiled at him. "Sounds perfect."

They walked through the hallway toward their quarters. Out of nowhere, Ronon appeared and grabbed Lorne, slamming him against the corridor wall.

"Ronon?" Jennifer called out. "What are you doing?"

Ronon chose to ignore her. "I have my eye on you, Lorne." There was no mistake that the man meant business. "Make her cry again and they won't find your body. Ever." Sending him a final look, he let go of the major.

Once Ronon was gone, they both just looked at each other.

"Jen?" Lorne said, once he was able to find his voice again. "I'd appreciate full disclosure on anyone else who may have a problem with us together. Meaning any other men who have taken you under their wing as their kid sister."

Jennifer, smirking, just laughed. "You're better off not knowing, Evan. There are too many to count. But don't worry... Ronon's the scariest."

Evan just looked at her. "If I was smart, I would back off now." Instead, he picked up the pace. "Unfortunately, no one ever accused me of that. Guess I'll just have to be careful."

They walked together, holding hands, each slipping occasionally on the trail of green goop sliding off their boots.


End file.
